


Back Story

by Chaos_Valkyrie



Series: Agent O [11]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Blackmail Worthy Photographs, Bobbleheads, Breaking and Entering, Deliberate Snooping, Friendship, Human Perry, M/M, Ocelot Agent Heinz, Past minor character death, Perry Has Trouble Using His Words, Secrets, Traps, Unintentional Snooping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:17:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6898159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_Valkyrie/pseuds/Chaos_Valkyrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It seemed that Perry was always cited in the articles in the protests he’d received citations for, so he typed in ‘Perry Platypus’ in the Australian media site to see what other protests the man had gotten up to that he hadn’t been given warnings for…</p><p>Oh. Heinz’s eyes widened at the search results. Oh fuck.</p><p>*****</p><p>aka, Perry and Heinz learn each other's deepest secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This installment’s going to be a bit darker. I tried to keep it light hearted where I could, but our boys had angsty pasts. Be warned.
> 
> I had to wikipedia what a normal background check entails, so if I missed anything, I probably skimmed over it for the sake of getting to the good stuff.
> 
> Also, this installment is less action, more info-dump, so sorry about that. But the boys are finally at the stage where they are ready to learn each other’s deepest secrets, so their relationship can progress from here. This one is in three parts.

A knock sounded on Heinz’s office door, and he chirped, wondering who was visiting him this early in the day.

“Hey Heinz,” Carl said as he walked inside. The intern carried a handful of file folders, plopping them down on the desk in front of Heinz. The ocelot tilted his head in curiosity, and Carl shrugged.

“I know its not usually your job to do this –“ he waved at the files – “But you know we run background checks on all our human employees, right?”

Heinz nodded. Animal agents were usually recruited so young there was no need for such things, but humans… ah. He saw where this was going. He flipped the top folder open, unsurprised to see Perry’s recruitment photo clipped to the top sheet.

“Seeing as how recruit Platypus is your ex-nemesis, Major Monogram thought it would be best to have you finish his background check. You know him better than anyone else at the agency, and he thought that might give you additional insights.”

Heinz nodded, pulling the files towards him. When Carl continued to stand there, fidgeting in front of his desk, Heinz looked up at him in concern.

‘Was there something else?’ Heinz signed to his Science Bro. Carl opened and shut his mouth, appearing to search for the right words.

“Are you sure we can trust him?” he blurted out, and Heinz frowned.

‘He’s top recruit, isn’t he?’ Heinz signed. ‘I trust him, he’s my friend.’

“But why?!” Carl wailed, sitting in the chair. “He hurt you! You almost lost everything because of him!”

Heinz sighed. A lot of Carl’s actions were starting to make more sense now. ‘And he apologized for it, and I forgave him.’ Heinz held up a paw when Carl started to protest again. ‘He was protecting his family. I can understand the reasoning behind that. And its my choice to forgive him if I want to.’

“Yes, well, I still think he’s an idiot,” Carl grumped, and Heinz smiled at the intern fondly.

‘Yes, well, he’s my idiot,’ Carl groaned at that. ‘He’s my friend and I trust him, just like you’re my friend and I trust you. You don’t have to forgive him or like him if you don’t want to… just respect that I have.’

“Fine,” Carl sighed, standing up from the chair. “The recruits are running mock-missions today, so I’d better go check that everything is set up for that. See you at lunch, if it doesn’t run over.”

Heinz waved at Carl as he exited the room. Heinz thought for a moment, then got up and tapped a specific code into the keypad next to the door. A large metal panel crashed down in front of the door, while smaller panels covered the windows. He nodded, satisfied. 

His office was now officially in stay-in lock down mode. No one could get in – except, perhaps, with a very powerful laser cutter – but the traps were still disabled, allowing Heinz to freely move around the room. Heinz poured himself a cup of coffee from his personal coffee maker, then set the machine up to make more. He had a feeling he was going to need it.

Sitting back down, Heinz flipped open the top file, looking through the forms Perry had filled out when he applied for the agency. Heinz shook his head. He was so happy that he hadn’t had to deal with all this mess when he’d become an agent.

Carl had provided a helpful list in the first folder of what they needed. The birth records were accounted for, so he set that folder aside. Someone from accounting had run Perry’s financial records, so after checking its completeness, that too he set aside. The next folder held his citizenship records… including his shiny new American citizenship forms. Done and aside.

Heinz glanced through Perry’s health report from the OWCA medical team – perfect bill of health, just like Heinz already suspected. His interest peaked when he noticed that Perry had not signed the form to release his mental evaluation – which was perfectly within his rights. The therapist added a note worded in typical, vague language, that while Perry had basically passed inspection and was recommended for an agent, that he had also refused to answer some of her more personal questions. Which could mean anything really.

Heinz thought over this. In all the time he’d known the man, he rarely back-storied when he monologued. Truthfully, most of his rants pertained to who had pissed him off this time and why – like the time with Roger with the pigeons – and how he was going to right this particular wrong. Huh.

Heinz tapped that folder thoughtfully with his paw, and set it apart from the others.

The education records proved interesting as well. Perry had perfect grades in school, but the records started from when the man was eight years old – a bit older than most children start school. He set this folder with the mental evaluation folder.

Employment records showed that Perry had been self-employed as an ‘inventor’ since his graduation from Evil University, and Heinz was interested to note that Perry actually had quite a few patents on his beneficial-to-society inventions. Checking the financial records again, he noted that the majority of his revenue came from that.

The criminal records were mostly up-to-date. Heinz only needed to run a check starting from the beginning of the year, when Perry first applied to the Agency. Typing in the needed information, the search showed that Perry had been on best behavior the last few months, which Heinz noted on the forms. OWCA had already done a pretty thorough check from when Perry had still been evil, and Heinz skimmed through it again, noticing details that he hadn’t deemed important before.

Perry actually had a pretty squeaky record. No traffic violations – Heinz could attest firsthand that he was a very attentive driver – no reports of vandalism or other misdemeanors. Ignoring his top secret OWCA file, to any other organization running a check, Perry would seem like a model citizen.

Heinz looked further back in the record, and did notice a few citations for public protests when he was still in England and Australia. There were only a handful, and they were only warnings, no fines or legal actions or incarcerations attached.

Out of curiosity, Heinz pulled up an Australian media hub and typed in the date of one of the citations. The news results were surprising. 

The protest in question was for something to do with the preservation of the coral reefs. Heinz typed in the other dates, and noted that all of the demonstrations were either to show support for some form of animal- or environmental-protection, or to protest against legislation that would endanger an animal species or the environment in some way.

Heinz thought back to the Poop-inator. Perry had said something back then about protesting Roger’s policy on poisoning the pigeons in the parks, hadn’t he? Heinz hadn’t even really thought about the reasoning behind that invention until now. Truthfully, he had been more focused on watching his jackass brother get drenched with pigeon goo.

Heinz flipped ahead through the OWCA file, typing in a few dates from when Perry was still in Australia. Sure enough, most of the dates and -inators corresponded with some environmental issue that been important enough to make the news.

Heinz didn’t watch the human news, so he had not made any of these correlations himself. As an animal agent, he was simply ordered to thwart his nemesis’s schemes, and then go play at being a pet or invent things in the labs afterwards. The only news he kept up with was the endangered species list – all of the agents did. OWCA kept an up-to-date listing for use in where and how certain agents were assigned.

Now, with the help of the online edition of the Tri-State Gazette, Heinz went back through his own mission reports and Perry’s activities list and added notes detailing the why’s behind the schemes. Heinz also typed out a summary sheet to add to the file – that in his personal opinion, Perry was less an evil scientist, and more a frustrated environmentalist who had simply taken his protests to the next level. 

Heinz smiled at that, for that matched the Perry he knew far better than the lame excuse of ‘he’s just evil, go put a stop to his schemes’. He could see his Perry now, frustrated and tired after another demonstration went nowhere, deciding to take matters into his own hands. The Perry he knew was always determined, and never let anything stop him for long.

The official background check was mostly done now, but Heinz was still curious. It seemed that Perry was always cited in the articles in the protests he’d received citations for, so he typed in ‘Perry Platypus’ in the Australian media site to see what other protests the man had gotten up to that he hadn’t been given warnings for…

Oh. Heinz’s eyes widened at the search results. Oh fuck.

‘Missing six-year-old rescued from wild by hunter,’ was the title of the first article to pop up. And underneath were pictures of the hunter – platypus hunter, the caption read, ohmeingott – and an all-too-familiar teal-haired little boy.

Heinz’s heart shattered. Heinz recognized that expression on child-Perry’s face all too well. It was the same despair present on his face when he was first ‘rescued’ from his ocelot family.

Heinz read the article slowly, almost dreading what he was going to find.

Perry had been missing for two years in the outback. The article mentioned a car wreck, both parents were killed, the boy presumed dead since the accident itself had not been discovered for several days, due to the remote location. No one had realized he was still alive until Ian the hunter found him and brought him back to civilization.

Heinz sat back in his chair, paws rubbing his eyes as he filled in the rest. Perry had only been four-years-old. He survived the wreck and wandered off into the wilds, lost, scared, confused, possibly injured. Found and rescued by the platypuses, who raised him for the next two years much like his Mutti and Vati.

And then, like in Heinz’s own situation, the hunters came and were determined to ‘rescue’ him. 

Except Perry never got to go home again. His human home was already gone, and the hunter who specialized in platypuses, Heinz snarled to himself, didn’t leave any home for Perry to return to.

A knock sounded on the door, and Heinz’s head jerked up. Most people knew better than to disturb him when the office was in lock down. He hit a few keys, activating the camera above his door.

Shit. Perry. He frantically threw the papers back into their files and tossed them in a drawer. He turned off his monitor, then took a few deep breaths before walking over to the keypad. He typed in the code and the office ‘unlocked’ itself again.

Heinz opened the door, and Perry stood there, holding a cafeteria tray. Heinz let him pass, confused as Perry set the tray on his desk and turned to Heinz with a look of concern.

‘Are you okay? You missed lunch,’ Perry asked, sitting in the visitor’s chair. ‘I brought you some – they were getting ready to shut down the lines.’

Heinz glanced at his watch, cringing when he noticed the time. ‘Sorry, I was working on something, and got distracted.’ He walked back to his desk and sat down, pulling the tray towards him. ‘Thanks for this, though!’

‘Anytime,’ Perry smiled fondly. ‘What were you working on?’ he asked, and Heinz was glad he hadn’t started eating yet, because he most likely would’ve choked.

‘Some paperwork for Monogram,’ he said carefully, not quite sure how to bring the topic up. ‘It involved a lot of fact-checking, so I wasn’t paying attention to the time,’ he shrugged. 

Perry grinned at him, and Heinz felt guilty. Before he could say anything, Perry blinked and chuffed a laugh as he picked up Heinz’s new desk decoration.

‘A platypus bobble head. – that’s new,’ he laughed, looking at Heinz questioningly. Heinz was glad for the change of topics as he began eating.

‘Isn’t it cute? Bunny recruit left it when she broke into my office last week,’ Heinz told him.

Perry looked shocked. ‘She broke in?!’

Heinz snorted, rolling his eyes. ‘Its become something of a rite of passage among the agents. Every new batch of recruits tries to break into my office or lab at some point during training and prank me. I don’t know if the active agents put them up to it or not… it amuses me now. I change the traps out every so often to keep them guessing. She’s one of the few to ever make it to the desk, and definitely the first to leave a gift.’

Perry frowned. ‘Why haven’t I heard about this?’ He looked a little hurt. Heinz shrugged.

‘Like I said, I don’t know the how’s or why’s behind it. Apparently, someone took my personal security systems as a challenge a few years ago, and now everyone tries. I think they even have a betting pool.’

‘I’m going to ask Bunny about this.’ Perry complained, ‘I can’t believe she held out on me.’

Heinz just grinned, finishing up his meal while Perry stewed. Perry’s watch beeped, and he checked it before huffing out a sigh.

‘Break’s over,’ he announced, getting up from the chair and stretching. ‘I’ll see you later,’ he smiled and waved, heading for the door.

‘Are you free in the morning?’ Heinz blurted out, and Perry turned in curiosity. 

‘Yeah, we don’t have drills until the afternoon. Why?’ Perry asked. 

‘I wanted to talk with you about something,’ Heinz hedged. ‘You think you could drop in early?’

Perry nodded slowly, and Heinz was worried that he could see the guilt in his eyes. Heinz knew he couldn’t keep his discovery to himself, he had to tell Perry and hoped the man would forgive him. 

Perry smiled softly at him, waving again as he let himself out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now for Perry’s POV.

Avoiding the tripwire across the threshold was easy. The laser grid between the door and the desk took some time but was doable – it would've gone faster if he hadn't needed to avoid the minefield of Legos spread across the floor beneath the grid. Perry found himself grinning – his former nemesis certainly had an evil streak. He got around the desk, neatly sidestepped the snare, and started to sit down. He paused, grabbed a pencil from the desktop, and poked the seat.

The bear trap hidden in the cushion sprung shut, snapping the pencil in half and almost catching his finger. He winced, picking up the trap and gingerly placed it on the desk. He smirked as he noticed a tuft of black and white fur still caught in the hinge. 

Bunny had been horrified that Perry hadn’t known about the ritual. She had been told by Newton about it, even though the trend started sometime after his recruitment. The general gist of it was that the recruit broke in, tried to avoid the traps, and then left a prank or marker of their own before leaving. 

The reality was that they broke in, got trapped, and then compared progress with the other recruits and agents after Heinz released them the next morning. It was also forbidden to tell the recruits who had not yet made their attempt what the traps were or their placement.

Bunny had been one of the very few to get in and back out, which had apparently amazed everyone else. Perry shrugged. She was the recruit he trained with the most, and he was well aware that she was more than capable of the task.

The others were less impressed that she only left Heinz a gift instead of a prank. She had shrugged when she told Perry – she adored Heinz, she wasn’t about to do anything to hurt him.

And speaking of markers… Perry placed his own gift next to hers as he sat down, a satisfied grin on his face. 

Technically he could leave now, but Perry had some questions that needed answering, and knew that this room was the place to find those answers. Even though his ultimate scheme had changed radically in the last few months, there were still a few things he needed to know.

He booted the computer and paused, thinking about possible passwords. He eyed the photograph of Heinz and his siblings across the room, and remembered the date scrawled beneath the image. Figuring it was worth a shot, he typed it in, grinning as the machine accepted it.

His smile dropped as he stared at the screen in horror. Or rather, at the background picture. 

It was a photograph from Halloween. It featured Perry and the kids in an unposed moment, when Perry first entered the living room wearing the costume they'd designed for him. He cringed. He had tried to block those memories, but apparently Heinz hadn't hidden away for all of Halloween like he'd hoped.

Perry refused to think about his own computer background, and instead tried to delete the pictures, (how many did he take?), along with the video-file of the LOVEMUFFIN opening number. All the files were heavily password protected, and Perry had no doubt that Heinz had back-up copies hidden away somewhere.

Curse you, Heinz the Ocelot, he thought as he flipped through the pictures.

And curse his inability to say no to his niece and nephews. Those coconut shells had itched, damn it. Not to mention being leered at by almost every mother – and a few fathers – in the neighborhood all evening... 

Giving up that task, he flipped over to look at the browsing history, wondering just what does an ocelot look up on the internet. He started smiling again as he noted links to various engineering websites, a supposedly killer lemonade recipe, the local paper, and some Australian media sites...

Ah. The powers that be obviously ordered Heinz to run Perry's background check. That explained why Heinz looked so nervous when he asked to meet up tomorrow.

Perry purposefully closed his mind off before the memories could overtake him. He wasn’t angry… honestly, it was kind of a relief. There was no one else in the management he’d want to know about his childhood, and so having his best friend doing it was good good thing. 

It also made it easier to bring up now. Ever since they’d declared themselves best friends, Perry had been dithering, wanting to know more about Heinz’s past, but not quite ready to reciprocate with his own. Now Heinz knew at least some, if not all of it, and now Perry could ask the tough questions he had for Heinz, hopefully without destroying their friendship in the process.

He explored Heinz’s desktop a few more minutes, finally finding the link to the personnel files. He did a search, then opened three files – Odette Ocelot, Otto Ocelot, and Heinz.

He carefully skimmed through the first two. The three siblings had started at the agency about the same time Perry had been born. They graduated top of their class, and Odette and Otto were both highly decorated for their time in the field. Odette died on a mission, unsurprisingly while trying to save the life of her nemesis. A note underneath stated that the man recovered, but gave up evil shortly after and moved on to open a petting zoo.

Otto died peacefully, in his sleep, at around 15 years old, apparently with both Heinz and Otto's nemesis present. There was no note about his nemesis, so Perry assumed he went on to other evil schemes.

He opened up Heinz’s file and began reading. Heinz worked at thwarting Destructicon for the first ten or so years of his time at OWCA, before the scheme that landed the evil doctor in OWCA prison. He skimmed over some of the thwarted schemes, and winced. Apparently, Destructicon possessed a deep love of monologue-ing via song, which explained Heinz's unadulterated joy during that LOVEMUFFIN act. Perry himself didn't hate musical numbers, he just hated being a part of them, for obvious reasons.

Anyway, after that nemesis-ship ended, Heinz spent most of the next few years doing what he did now – training recruits and going out on general emergency missions. Somewhere in that time two discoveries were made regarding the ocelot. The first was that Heinz had a genius level IQ. This was discovered when he was caught in the labs re-engineering the older model of agent wrist communicators. When the scientist who discovered him found that he was actually improving the design, Heinz was drafted to start working on other projects in the labs.

The other discovery revolved around the mystery of Heinz's slower aging process. This was noted at his brother's retirement and declining physical health. Heinz remained in his prime physically, even now. The agency questioned Heinz and Otto about the matter, but Otto remained tightlipped about the affair, and Heinz eventually admitted to being hit by several of Destructicon's -inators, so, in his theory, perhaps one of those triggered the change.

Even if the agency eventually dropped the matter, Perry was not convinced in the slightest. 

Perry next read over the brief window where Heinz had been assigned as Roddenstein's nemesis. Well, that explained their familiarity at the LOVEMUFFIN meeting, and what Perry read in Heinz's final mission report made him wish he had hit the man harder.

Apparently, Peter the Panda was not the first agent Rodney tried to kill. It was no wonder, now, why Heinz had been so focused on the other scientist during that incident. He had prior experience with the man's murderous ways. Heinz resigned from all field work and nemesis work after that mission, which Perry did not blame him for, even as it made him wonder about why he came back.

This meant that Heinz spent the majority of the last fifteen years or so completely without friends or family. Perry wasn't stupid – he noted the way that Heinz shied away from most of the other agents, maintaining a polite professional boundary. The other agents, in turn, tended to regard Heinz with either awe or disdain. Awe, because Heinz was a living legend to some of the other agents, for the years he had put in at the agency and his mission track records. 

The disdain was a little harder to understand. From what Perry gathered from his time here – helped along by the fact that most of the agents didn't realize he could understand them – some of those that disregarded Heinz thought that he was too soft to be an agent. Peter was among those. They didn't like that he seemed to pick and choose what rules he followed, and the fact that he never arrested his nemeses (he did arrest Rodney, the files stated, who got off on a technicality). Heinz had actually been ordered to kill Destructicon, if necessary, when the whole sun-fiasco came up. Perry smiled a little sadly as he scrolled back to that report – that fight had put the ocelot agent out of commission for months, but he still refused to kill his nemesis.

The rest of the dissenters were less concerned with his agent methodology, and more in fear of Heinz's innate abilities. His intelligence, his slower aging, still being physically in his prime despite his years. Their dislike was founded in fear. Heinz, to them, was unnatural, and their instincts told them to shy away.

In fact, Carl (and Kevin, he supposed) were Heinz's only friends before his first meeting with Perry. And from what Perry had gathered from things Carl had let slip, Carl had been the one to pursue the friendship at first, mostly out of awe for Heinz's brilliance and mechanical genius. 

Out of curiosity, he scrolled through the more recent files and reports, unconsciously grinning to see the way Heinz had reported their own interactions. These reports were nowhere near as professional as the ones he’d written regarding Destructicon. These were far more irreverent, quoting bits and pieces of Perry’s monologues, focusing with surprising detail over some of his -inators.

He skimmed through them all, not entirely surprised to see that Heinz had, at some point or another, re-engineered all of Perry’s -inators, writing detailed notes about the workings of each one, even sometimes offering suggested improvements.

Perry had a full blown smile at this point. Heinz hadn’t even done that with Destructicon’s inventions… suck on that, Kevin.

Perry also felt warm at the notations added to each report just this morning. Heinz’s ‘fact-checking’ was to take every single one of Perry’s past schemes and track down and make note of whatever environmental disaster he was protesting with it. To say Perry was touched would be an understatement. He didn’t think anyone had understood his motivations so well as Heinz.

Early in their nemesis-ship, Perry still hadn’t ‘talked’ much, even though he now finally had a nemesis who could understand sign language. He was never sure what to say or how much ‘Agent O’ would care about his need to protect animals and the environment. This uncertainty was fueled by his time at Evil U., where his professors and classmates scoffed at his motivations, encouraging him to use his evil training to cause havoc and mayhem, not save endangered baby ducks.

So Perry hadn’t said anything to Heinz about the ultimate reasoning behind his schemes, not until the Poop-inator. Heinz’s joy in that scheme, his willing failure to stop Perry from succeeding, that was their first turning point. That was the opening of the door. Perry began to monologue more, open up more about his reasoning behind his plans, and Heinz always listened in absolutely genuine interest.

The LOVEMUFFIN meeting, and then the marathon the week after, those events cemented them as frenemies. The marathon in particular was when Perry noticed their communication was evolving into the strange mishmash of animal speak and sign. He still couldn’t believe it took Heinz so long to notice. But he was admittedly flattered that it was because Heinz was so focused on what he was saying, that he hadn’t even realized how they were communicating.

Outside of the Flynn-Fletchers, no one had ever shown such interest in trying to understand the real Perry. Heinz was the first, and Perry wasn’t going to risk losing him again.

But Perry was still frustrated, returning to the task at hand. His main question was still unanswered. The secret to what made Heinz, Heinz. What was the secret behind his longevity, his intellect, everything. Heinz was Special, and Perry burned with the need to know why… why he’d lived so long for an ocelot, and what it meant for how long Perry would get to keep him in his life…

After fruitlessly browsing through the computer files for a few more minutes, he turned away from the device and started searching the desk drawers for an answer. The first few drawers yielded only drafting supplies, random tools, and a few odd mechanical parts. It wasn’t until he tried the bottom drawer and found it locked that he knew he’d hit the jackpot.

Pulling out his lock picks, he made short work of the drawer, yanking it open (it was stuck a little) –

– only to have a manacle spring out of the drawer and latch onto his right wrist. A magnetic manacle that then slammed Perry’s wrist to the underside of the steel desk top, causing Perry to hiss in both pain and shock. He knelt to the floor to get a better look at the locking mechanism – it was a retinal scanner. Well, shit. It was only then that he noticed the table was made of solid steel, heavily welded, and bolted to the floor. Double shit.

Perry found that he could slide the cuff across the surface of the metal, if he used a great deal of force. He managed to shift it just enough that he could comfortably sit in the chair again.

He looked into the drawer and shrugged. Might as well go all the way, now that he wasn’t going anywhere.

There were only two things inside. An old photo album, and a lockbox beneath it.

The lockbox had a retinal scanner as well. He laid it gently on the table next to the bear trap and picked up the album.

Perry smiled, looking through pictures of a younger Heinz and his siblings. As the years went on, the pictures seemed to start thinning down. First Odette disappeared. Then Heinz – still looking young – with his brother as he obviously aged. A few pictures of Destructicon peppered the array, first from missions, then in prison, playing chess with Heinz. Perry flipped through the next few pages. It seemed like the pictures had stopped for a while, as the abruptly newer-looking shots featured a slightly-older looking Heinz with Carl – mostly doing science related activities. Science Bros indeed.

Perry flipped the page, and was startled to see a picture of himself. He was wearing his jogging suit, sweaty but sporting a wide grin – it was their first meeting, he suddenly realized. He felt his cheeks warm as he kept flipping through photographs, most taken from Heinz’s video feed. Shots from various missions, the LOVEMUFFIN show, those damned coconuts again. Mixed throughout were pictures of the kids, copies of their school pictures, a snapshot of what must’ve been taken from the adoption center video feed the day they adopted Heinz.

Perry paused at that one. Heinz looked absolutely in awe of the three little people surrounding him. Awed and half in love already. If Perry had seen this photo before Christmas, he would never have doubted Heinz’s devotion to the kids. It was obviously there from the very beginning.

Perry sighed, gently replacing the album in the drawer. Several of his questions were answered, and there were now so many new questions that needed to be answered, but the biggest mystery of all still loomed over his head. Otto and probably Odette had known the truth. Heinz’s flimsy answers and refusal to be tested also hinted at some other truth. But what?…

The original plan had been to sneak in, dig for information, and not let Heinz know that Perry had done so. That plan was scrapped, obviously, but Perry wasn’t as worried about tomorrow as he’d thought he’d be. Knowing that Heinz knew about Perry’s past had actually made it easier for him to start the conversation he knew they needed to finally have.

Perry yawned, trying to find a more comfortable position in the desk chair. Well, nothing to do but wait and see how Heinz reacted in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Perry is jealous of Kevin. That’s why he had such a pained, awkward smile back in ‘Agent Platypus, Part One’ during the lab tour. Carl sensed weakness like a shark scenting blood, and rubbed Heinz’s nemesis-ship with Kevin in Perry’s face every chance he got. Because Carl is super-protective of his Science Bro like that.
> 
> Don’t get me wrong… I don’t agree with Perry’s breach of Heinz privacy, but I can justify it. Perry has no people skills. He’s been alone for so long, with no one ever really knowing and/or understanding the real him. To top it off, he has a painful past that he himself just doesn’t like talking about with anyone. But Heinz is different, and he knows Heinz will understand, but lack of people skills means he just doesn’t know how to start the conversation or ask for what he wants to know. So instead of using his words, he’s hoping that if he finds the answer himself, he won’t have to risk asking the absolute wrong thing and lose his best and only friend again.
> 
> Basically, he’s very afraid and gun-shy right now regarding anything going wrong with Heinz, and has justified his snooping to himself as a means to his end of keeping his best friend.
> 
> Vice versa, I don’t agree w Heinz’s breach of Perry’s privacy either, but his was more accidental and was mandated by the Powers that Be. I figured, better Heinz than anyone else.
> 
> I like to think Heinz knows about Perry’s insecurities on some level, and still loves Perry regardless. Especially as he had been forced to violate Perry’s privacy too.
> 
> Also, I 100% head-canon that Perry has a Cone-of-Shame pic as his computer background, because he thought Heinz was just so damned cute in it. This may or may not come up later, so I’ll post it now.


	3. Chapter 3

Perry awoke with a start, falling out of the desk chair at the loud metallic clang still reverberating through the room. He peeked over the desk hesitantly, only to find Heinz with his back to him as he went through the motions of making coffee and tea. The laser grid and Legos and snare were gone, but the door now had a thick steel plate blocking it. 

Heinz looked over, and he snorted seeing Perry’s sheepish, pathetic expression. He rolled his eyes, fixing the tea mug the way he knew Perry liked it. He slid it over the desk, then took his own coffee and sat down in his guest chair. He sipped quietly, waiting for Perry to climb back into the desk chair and pick up his own mug.

‘I’m not angry,’ Heinz told him, grinning behind his mug at the look of relief that passed over Perry’s normally stoic face. ‘I figured you’d try after you found out yesterday. I was actually more surprised that it took you this long. Good job on the bear trap, most people miss that one.’

‘I thought the Legos were a nice touch,’ Perry grinned back, smile widening as Heinz giggled. 

‘I got that idea from the kids,’ he confessed. ‘I never try to walk across the boys’ room at night anymore.’

They sipped in silence for while, both trying to find the right words. Heinz finally broke the silence.

‘I assume you saw my search history…’ Perry nodded and Heinz grimaced. ‘Sorry about that. Monogram thought it would be better for me to do your background check, seeing as I know you better than anyone else here.’

‘No, I'm not angry.’ Perry took a deep breath. ‘If anyone was going to do it, I'd rather it be you,’ Perry shrugged, then flinched as the cuff made the motion awkward. ‘Can you take this thing off?’

‘That depends. Are you going to stay and let me explain things this time?’ Heinz asked him seriously. 

Perry cringed. ‘I deserve that. Yes, I’ll stay till the bitter end. You deserve that and more. You deserve everything.’

‘Thanks,’ Heinz grinned softly, hopping out of his chair and diving under the desk. Perry flushed a little – it was a good thing the room was locked down, he wouldn’t want anyone to walk in on them like this and get the wrong idea. The cuff clanked as it released his wrist and fell to the floor, and Heinz popped out a moment later with it in his paw.

Perry rubbed his reddened wrist as Heinz took his seat again. ‘So, any questions?’ Heinz asked him, fiddling with the cuff nervously before setting it on the table.

‘Yes. How?’ Perry asked. ‘It wasn’t one of Destructicon’s -inators that’s kept you alive. And it seemed like Otto, at least, knew the real truth.’

Heinz nodded, waving at the box. ‘Go on, open it. It’s all in there.’ Perry jabbed his finger at the retinal scanner, and Heinz looked suddenly uncomfortable.

‘You and I are the only ones who can open it.’ Heinz replied, causing Perry’s eyebrows to shoot upwards in surprise. ‘If anything ever happened to me,’ Heinz paused, ‘I told Carl to give it to you. There’s no one else I would’ve wanted to know.’

Perry had to choke down the feelings suddenly threatening to overwhelm him. With a shaking hand, he picked up the box and held it up to his eye, hearing the faint click as it opened without hesitation. Looking at Heinz, who nodded encouragingly, he lifted the lid off, peering inside.

The box held one object. An obviously old, handheld -inator. Perry picked it up gingerly, setting the box aside as he examined it carefully. He popped the panel off the side, carefully examining the interior, before his head shot up and he looked at Heinz in surprise. ‘This is –‘

‘The Ocelot-inator. My very first working -inator. I made it when I was eight.’ Heinz stated, a mixture of different emotions on his face. Perry studied him carefully, noting both the pain and happiness there. And the longing.

Heinz sighed, his eyes returning to Perry’s with a wry smile. ‘Perhaps I should reintroduce myself. My full name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz –‘ he held a paw up as Perry jolted in shock – ‘Yes, Roger is my younger human brother, we’ll get to that later. I was born a little over forty years ago in Gimmelschtump, Drusselstein. I was seven when my human parents disowned me.’

Perry set the inator in the box again, lest he break it. ‘Seven?’

‘Yes, it was okay. Well,’ Heinz held up a paw as Perry tried to protest, ‘It wasn’t okay, but it turned out for the best. I wandered alone in the woods for several days until I woke up one morning, surrounded by ocelots. I was scared at first, but…’ here Heinz gulped hard, ‘they accepted me. Mutti and Vati, Otto and Odette. They accepted and loved me from the start.’

Perry looked away from the raw longing on Heinz’s face, giving him a moment to continue. Perry at least had known that he was cherished by his human parents before IT happened, and it was obvious that Heinz hadn’t had that.

‘I lived with them for a year, learned how to be an ocelot. Yes, I was still human then, but they didn’t care. I was theirs. Then the hunters saw me in the woods, and tried to ‘rescue’ me. When I found the traps, I knew I couldn’t stay any longer. So I let them find me and take me ‘home’.’

Perry scooted the chair around the table and reached out to take Heinz’s paw, squeezing it briefly in silent understanding. Heinz smiled.

‘It took awhile, but I made this –‘ he used his free paw to tap the Ocelot-inator, ‘and it worked.’ He smiled widely. ‘I got to go home again. To my real family.’

Perry smiled, shoving away the memories of his own not-happy ending. ‘I’m glad.’

Heinz’s smile faltered, and he brought his other paw up to join his and Perry’s hands. ‘I’m sorry yours didn’t end the same way,’ he said, with so much compassion in his eyes. Perry knew, in this one moment, that this right here, was the only person who would ever, ever understand what he had been through.

His hand pulled away from Heinz’s paws, and before Heinz could sit back again, he scooped the ocelot into his lap and hugged him for all he was worth. Heinz gasped a little at the suddenness of the action, then carefully placed his arms around Perry’s neck, purring comfortingly.

They sat that way for a long time, neither one moving until Perry was finally able to put away all the memories, the pain and remorse and anger. Not at Heinz, never at Heinz; he’d never begrudge Heinz for finding his happiness when he himself hadn’t. He finally pulled back, nodding softly to Heinz’s questioning glance. 

‘Thank you,’ he churred at Heinz, and saw the ocelot nod back, understanding every feeling that he put into that simple statement.

He let Heinz go, and the ocelot reluctantly hopped back over to his own chair. Perry gulped down the last of his tea, rubbing a hand over his face before meeting Heinz’s eyes again.

‘I’ve wanted to tell you, but never knew how or where to start. After I was found, I couldn’t talk to anyone. I wouldn’t. I just completely shut down, and no matter how many people tried to get me to talk, I just couldn’t do it. They sent me to the orphanage, and to school after I started to teach myself to read, but all I had known till then was animal speak, and no one thought to try sign language until I finally discovered it and started teaching myself.’

‘Lawrence’s mother was my mother’s distant cousin, but the families were never close. It wasn’t until I turned fourteen that they found out about me and came to get me. Lawrence knew sign language already; he was the first person I ever had a real conversation with.’

‘That’s why I moved here after he and Ferb did. Their family was the first group of people to ever try to understand me, and even though it wasn’t always perfect, I couldn’t let that go.’

Perry looked chagrinned. ‘That’s also partly why I broke in here. Not just the challenge, but I’ve wanted to know about your slower aging since I’ve first heard about it. I wanted to know how long I’d get to have you in my life as well. You’re the first friend I’ve ever had. You understand me better than anyone else ever has,’ Perry mumbled, eyes averted and cheeks flaming red.

Heinz was stunned, not knowing how to respond to that. He tried anyway. ‘The Ocelot-inator, I finally figured out, was flawed. It wasn’t a perfect transformation – outwardly, I’m an ocelot, but my aging is still that of a human. I’m early forties, technically, and I figured out years ago that I’m the equivalent of a six or seven year old ocelot.’ Perry still wasn’t looking at him, so Heinz jumped to his desk and sat in front of him.

Perry looked up, startled. Heinz smiled softly. ‘What I’m trying to say is, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,’ he told his best friend, placing a paw on his shoulder.

Perry smiled, his hand reaching up and settling on the back of Heinz’s neck. ‘Good.’

The happy silence lasted a few minutes until Perry started to fidget nervously. Heinz recognized the warning signs and patiently waited for Perry to find his words.

‘Can I confess something?’ Perry asked nervously, and Heinz nodded, purring gently.

A brief smile flashed on Perry’s face, before he took a deep breath.

‘I didn’t apply to OWCA because I actually wanted to be an agent. At first… it was just a means to try to win you back as my nemesis. I thought I could come in, make you my frenemy again, and then everything could go back to the way it was…’

Heinz waited patiently, knowing there was more as Perry struggled for words. Heinz had actually already figured out there was a greater scheme involved, at least at first, but his purring deepened a little to know that the man was willing to go to such lengths to win him back.

Perry huffed out a breath, meeting Heinz’s expression with a wry smile. ‘I can’t go back to before. Don’t get me wrong, being your nemesis was exhilarating, but being your best friend… I like seeing this side of you too. I like seeing your kindness to the recruits… I like being able to drop in and visit you any time I want… I like scaring everybody when we rant over our soaps in the cafeteria… Do you understand what I’m trying to say?’ Perry looked frustrated, and Heinz put his other paw on Perry’s other shoulder, nodding encouragingly.

‘I love being your best friend too,’ Heinz told him, and Perry smiled in relief as he pulled Heinz into yet another hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And cut. So close… yet, not there yet. Since this installment was so heavy, the next installment will be pure fluff. I don’t know how long it’ll be yet, but I’m trying for all fluff, because the installment after that goes right back to heavy. The chapters will also be on the shorter side, because fluff.
> 
> I tried to work in Perry’s gift to Heinz, for those who are curious, so that’ll come in next installment.
> 
> Now that the info dump is over, we can start evolving this relationship 
> 
> And fyi, Perry’s scheme – come in, win Heinz back, and then go back to Evil – that was how I first intended for this segment to end. Months ago, when I first plotted out the series. But as anyone who writes knows, sometimes your characters evolve in such a way that when you get to that critical point – like this one – you just know that the choice you, the writer, wanted, is not the choice they – your evolved character – would make. So I changed it, but still wanted to let you know that that was the option, back then.

**Author's Note:**

> End Part One. Next time, Perry does a little snooping of his own.
> 
> And the bobble-head? Bunny recruit and the universe are ONE. HINT boys, HINT.
> 
> Its totally my head-canon that Peter was the first recruit to break in to Heinz’s office. It won’t come up in the stories as fact, but I can see him, as one of the best current recruits / agents in years seeing Heinz’s security as a Challenge.


End file.
